Writing – Page 7 – Brian Fence

Nothing Wrong with Eight Inches

I love a good snowstorm, the kind that forces you to sit inside and… do some work. Don’t worry; I am actually working on Apprentice, though we’re mucking about a bit in a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey scene at the moment and I require lots of irrelevant snippets of paper, thumbtacks, and, very soon, the OLD SCHOOL CORK BOARD SHALL RETURN.

The audiobook version of Librarian is complete and as soon as it hits the distributors, I’ll let you know. I’ll also, similarly to my first run of hardcover/paperbacks of the novel, offer signed audio CDs with a special message from me exclusively for sale on my website. Stay tuned for details. 😀

Also, don’t forget! I’m giving an amazing, socially-relevant talk at the Toms River branch of the Ocean County Library on Tuesday, 28 January at 19:00 EST! Sign up here!

Librarian Library Talk

That’s right! I’ve been asked to speak at the Ocean County Library (Toms River branch) in January! I will apparently be babbli — er, giving a talk about the portrayal of women in popular fiction and the hellishness of navigating the ever-changing publishing industry.

Registration is necessary, I believe! So if you want to see me use my sociologist degree for something, go ahead and sign up. (PS — I’ll be heading across the street afterward for drinksies, so feel free to follow along!)

Here’s the proper link:

http://engagedpatrons.org/EventsExtended.cfm?SiteID=2161&EventID=192276&PK=

Okay, PSA ended! 😉

Red is the Color of Blood

November is over, and Christmas is creeping up with its icy jaws of death, ready to pillage my wallet and interrupt my workflow (speaking of Christmas, Librarian would make a great gift for loved ones who like books, HINT HINT). One upside to it being December, however, is that Movember is officially over, and I shaved the tribble off my face. I look twelve years old again. Huzzah!

On a more professional note, the first annotations for chapters one through four of Apprentice are completely worked into the first draft, which means it’s time for… THE RED PEN OF DOOM. This is the fun part where I go a little crazy and go over line by line of the printed material. This is also the stage where the insanity starts. When it finally goes to my copy-editor, prepare for all out bonkers.

Apprentice Proof (Chapters 1-4) — The text already threatens to strangle me, I swear.

Do I see the word “sparkle ponies” on page one? RUT-ROH. Remember, this is the version produced after I get delightful suggestions from my editor, some of which are like this:

Rib Poking

We do so enjoy to keep our comments lively. Hope everyone is staying warm; now, armed with my red pen, it’s back to work. Who will die first: Lenna or I!?

Brian Does Not Like to Edit — My money is on me dying first.

The Aftermath of a Nerdgasm

If you read the post from the other day where I refused to be productive because of the possibility of too much fandom going on in my life, you’ll know yesterday was pretty epic from a geek standpoint for me. I shan’t go into the details (SPOILERS), but suffice it to say I made too much food and got far too excited.

Also, I dropped a food processor on my knee, severely crippling my efforts at mastering this paso doble. Oh well.

There’s one more day until the FINAL (I mean it) Goodreads giveaway for Librarian ends so, really: it’s Sunday, it’s cold out — sign up if you haven’t! Meanwhile, I’m actually being a good boy and working on Apprentice.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Librarian

by Brian Fence

Giveaway ends November 25, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Thymey Whymey

Thyme and Board No, I’m not cutting up some illegal herb; it’s THYME! Get the post’s title now? Hee-hee, Brian’s puns are bad.

Life has been pretty mundane lately, and that’s a reason to make every event a little more special. Tonight I cooked herb-marinated pork tenderloins, roasted right in the pan; I accompanied them with couscous and shallots, Vichy carrots, and a green salad with a Dijon vinaigrette. Simple, rustic French cookery. Om-nom-nom.

Excitingly, I get to pop over to the library tomorrow to speak with the senior librarian about Librarian, and it just-so-happens that the main branch is across the street from one of my favorite local watering holes. There’s a connection her: MOAR WORK ON APPRENTICE (I’ve made no secret that I work best from pubs)!

I really need to push out the next couple chapters, and errrg, tonight was one of those nights in the shower when I was like, “Damn, I think this might need to be longer than a trilogy…” — no, Brian! NO! Squash that thought right now!

…

My Drink of the Day…

Magnesium Citrate

…is pasteurized sparkling saline laxative! Huzzah for magnesium citrate! I get to quaff this entire bottle at 16:00 EDT today in prep for the wonderful exploration of my innards tomorrow. Don’t worry; I have another one tomorrow morning as well, in addition to some pills. WEE! Or the opposite thereof.

At least my gastroenterologist has promised not to write bad things on my bum. Since he has me on a clear liquid diet until 15:00-ish tomorrow, I’m wondering if I should mix the cherry-flavored fizzy citrate with vodka and make a fancy cocktail called “Brian’s Royal Flush.”

Okay, enough with the digestive humor. Getting ready to release the dramatic conclusion (ooooh…) to “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt,” and unlike previous installments this one will be released on Halloween (Thursday), which is only a few days. Get excited, and worry not: the growling you hear is not a monster; it’s my stomach. *whimper*

FLUTTERBRI

As I type this update, I am currently wearing a pair of pegasus wings and My Little Pony ears. Yes, I’m pretending to be Fluttershy. I have a shirt and a long pink tail to pin to my bum, but I’m saving that for Halloween.

Flutterbri

Part four of “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” has been released, leading up to its conclusion next week on the 31st. Spoooooooky! Be sure to check it out and give it a share. 🙂 Word of mouth is how I roll, kiddos, so, uh… roll with me and tell your friends!

Speaking of sharing, my friend Chris has started a freelance typography business, and having sampled his work, he knows his stuff! Be sure to check it out at palermo-stone.com.

Wuts Video Game?

BUSY WEEK! Housesitting, housekeeping, working, writing… I haven’t even played any video games! Ah! At least it’s Friday, and I did manage to get the third part of my October serial, “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” up. (Check it out here, or start from scratch at part one.)

Other than that, pretty much no work has been done on Apprentice this week because I’ve been running all over the place, or oddly enough, sleeping. This weekend I’m devoting to relaxation and good wine and, hopefully, loads more sleep.

On the news front, I’ve been invited to give an author talk at the Ocean County Library! It will take place on Tuesday, 28 January at 7 pm. More details to follow (as they come, and as I sort out what I’m going to blab about for an hour…)

Anyway! Innocuous (word of the YEAR) blog post all sorted out. IT’S FRIDAY! Time to Bao myself up!

Eat Your October Serial!

That’s right, serial, not cereal. I’m pun-tastic this week, and you all love it.

We’ve had beautiful fall weather up until today; now, it’s hot and humid again, and it makes me want to throw a chair or a small goat out a window. Work on the book is still coming along (don’t worry; I got two thousand words in yesterday), but as October is my favorite month, and I love Halloween, I find myself mostly willing the leaves to fall and the weather to cool down.

A fellow author on Twitter, Joe Hart, is doing a bit of flash-fiction on his blog every day up until the 31st. As his is the genre of horror, he’s quite good at producing some really scary bits of prose. While I’m not nearly collected enough to work on the book AND produce something else every day, I’ve decided to do a serial, instead.

Each week leading up to Halloween, an installment of my upcoming short story, “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt,” will be posted. It’s hopefully a little bit of a departure from my other work (though perceptive people might make some connections) in that I’m going for a cliched, old-fashioned adventure themed around some death.

Sounds fun, right? In any case, the first installment is going live tomorrow, and I will no doubt spam the link everywhere, so come back and check it out!

2k and Some Unbitching

Neither rain nor sleet nor the bloody mucous of Consumption will stop a determined writer. Okay, I don’t have TB, but I sure feel like death served bleu on a nice white plate. Hack hack hack.

Still, I won’t be kept from writing! I stayed home today, but rather than wallow in bed and waste time with video games, I managed to hit my daily goal of 2000 words, meaning chapter twelve is almost done. It’s a really interesting chapter for me, because some weird stuff goes down in ten and eleven, and twelve involves cleaning up the aftermath. Basically, I’m making Lenna less of an insufferable bitch.

This is not for the readers’ benefits so much as mine. It was either give her a good shake up, or kill her. Really. Actually, I’m happy she has a moment to start dealing with her issues like an adult (now if only I could rewrite certain family members as easily, life would be even grander).

The drugs to stop me from coughing up my lungs may have encouraged this playful pastiche to Twilight (oooh, yay for big words!), but I couldn’t help but have a little bit of fun in a relatively serious chapter. (Don’t worry; this snippet isn’t in the actual book, and those who don’t get the joke… well, nevermind.)