Random – Page 4 – Brian Fence

Snowed… Out?

I’m the first one to say, “YES, SNOW! YES! SNOW MORE! SNOW HARDER!” (much to the dismay of those around me), but now that my flight is canceled I’ll be forced to enjoy the nice SF weather for another two days! *gasp*

Up yours, winter; while you’ll be harassing my loved ones back home, I’ll be enjoying this:

In the meantime, I’m off to eat curry, visit museums, and then (maybe) tomorrow get some work done.

Remember to register for my upcoming library talk at the Toms River branch of the Ocean County Library on Tuesday, 28 January at 7:00 pm, and if you haven’t entered the Audible audiobook giveaway for Librarian yet, you should totally join the contest!

Nothing Wrong with Eight Inches

I love a good snowstorm, the kind that forces you to sit inside and… do some work. Don’t worry; I am actually working on Apprentice, though we’re mucking about a bit in a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey scene at the moment and I require lots of irrelevant snippets of paper, thumbtacks, and, very soon, the OLD SCHOOL CORK BOARD SHALL RETURN.

The audiobook version of Librarian is complete and as soon as it hits the distributors, I’ll let you know. I’ll also, similarly to my first run of hardcover/paperbacks of the novel, offer signed audio CDs with a special message from me exclusively for sale on my website. Stay tuned for details. 😀

Also, don’t forget! I’m giving an amazing, socially-relevant talk at the Toms River branch of the Ocean County Library on Tuesday, 28 January at 19:00 EST! Sign up here!

Pre-Christmas Moment

Sublimely enjoyable Christmas parties this past weekend and today.

It’s very weird to get mixed up in family politics, and no doubt, I shall be flamed or ridiculed by the masses (aka: the two members of my family who read my blog) for even posting such nonsense, but I’m really confused by the general concern of humans. And I have a voice.

I can go out with friends, loved ones, even strangers, and everything is okay. We stumble and fall; sometimes, someone pisses us off. But we know there are certain things that are important, things both ineffable and necessary to society, so strong that we should be able to rise up against conflict and better ourselves as humans when all is said and done. But some people don’t realize that. Some people don’t choose to realize that. And isn’t that sad?

I’ve spent the past, oh, six months, maybe longer, surrounding myself with good people and celebrating life and all it has to offer. I’ve failed sometimes. I watched others fail. But I am always me.

I have deliberately not involved myself with juvenile behavior and, rather, reached out with arms in embrace despite knowing there were no arms offering embrace in return.

Why hurt your parents? Why hurt your children? The only ones suffering are them, not me, whom you intend to punish. I feel the pain only because I see how the cruelty affects my loved ones, and that, in the spirit of the holidays, is just inhuman, and solidifies everything I’ve thought of you in the past two years. It’s a shame, because growing up, I always named heroes in my RPGs after you.

This is my blog; I choose to love.

Happy (almost) Christmas, everyone! Again, decide to love; it’s the best way to live.

The Christmas Fez

A Christmas fez!

Birds, Booze, and Bondage

Happy Thanksgiving! I’ve a lot to be thankful for this year: I’ve learned how amazing and strong my support network can be; it is through the caring and kindness of my loved ones that I’ve been able to pull off a lot of things I never thought myself capable of doing. Hell, I published a book! 😀

I’ve managed to reconnect with some people whom I’d thought were lost to me, and I’ve met and made a huge collection of new friends. For these things, I’m truly thankful. I certainly know I wouldn’t be as inspired to keep writing/cooking/waking up without you guys.

Turkey 2013 — All lubed and tied up. Sexy.

On that note, cheers to everyone, wherever (or whenever, if you happen to be a time traveler or dead), you happen to be! It’s time to tie one on, nom some good food, and appreciate the love of those around you.

By the way, yesterday, I found out I was out of eggs, and had to make an emergency trip to the grocery store. Unshowered. Still in PJs. >:( UNHAPPINESS WAS EVERYWHERE.

GRR! Bao!

The Day Draws NEEIIIIGH

I’ve been in freaking-out geek mode for several weeks now. The stars have all aligned to give me the most powerful weekend of fandom in all of history; the only way it could get ANY more insane for me was if something Sailor Moon came out tomorrow, too.

So, tonight, I’ve got J-Law in CATCHING FIRE, woot-woot, then tomorrow, a MLP marathon, Equestria Girls TV premiere, THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF SERIES FOUR OF MLP, then the Food Network’s Thanksgiving Live with (hopefully drunken) Ina Garten, and then the DAY OF THE DOCTOR! I am beginning to feel the blood trickle from my nose as I type.

I will be in my knickers, with a bow tie, and a fez. A sonic screwdriver and perhaps a liquid Screwdriver in each hand. Such excitement. Such excitement this blog post hasn’t been constructed very well at all. Or informative.

But here, I’ll add something deep. Life feels oppressively long sometimes, so much so that we don’t always realize [that] we’re all living on borrowed time, and even human relationships — family, friends, lovers — are fleeting. So find a pony, have some wine with a friend, and smile; and as my mother would say, inhale the moment. Find those fhets and make yourself enjoy every bit of happiness life affords. Sparkle.

xoxo

bao

My Drink of the Day…

Magnesium Citrate

…is pasteurized sparkling saline laxative! Huzzah for magnesium citrate! I get to quaff this entire bottle at 16:00 EDT today in prep for the wonderful exploration of my innards tomorrow. Don’t worry; I have another one tomorrow morning as well, in addition to some pills. WEE! Or the opposite thereof.

At least my gastroenterologist has promised not to write bad things on my bum. Since he has me on a clear liquid diet until 15:00-ish tomorrow, I’m wondering if I should mix the cherry-flavored fizzy citrate with vodka and make a fancy cocktail called “Brian’s Royal Flush.”

Okay, enough with the digestive humor. Getting ready to release the dramatic conclusion (ooooh…) to “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt,” and unlike previous installments this one will be released on Halloween (Thursday), which is only a few days. Get excited, and worry not: the growling you hear is not a monster; it’s my stomach. *whimper*

FLUTTERBRI

As I type this update, I am currently wearing a pair of pegasus wings and My Little Pony ears. Yes, I’m pretending to be Fluttershy. I have a shirt and a long pink tail to pin to my bum, but I’m saving that for Halloween.

Flutterbri

Part four of “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” has been released, leading up to its conclusion next week on the 31st. Spoooooooky! Be sure to check it out and give it a share. 🙂 Word of mouth is how I roll, kiddos, so, uh… roll with me and tell your friends!

Speaking of sharing, my friend Chris has started a freelance typography business, and having sampled his work, he knows his stuff! Be sure to check it out at palermo-stone.com.

Wuts Video Game?

BUSY WEEK! Housesitting, housekeeping, working, writing… I haven’t even played any video games! Ah! At least it’s Friday, and I did manage to get the third part of my October serial, “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” up. (Check it out here, or start from scratch at part one.)

Other than that, pretty much no work has been done on Apprentice this week because I’ve been running all over the place, or oddly enough, sleeping. This weekend I’m devoting to relaxation and good wine and, hopefully, loads more sleep.

On the news front, I’ve been invited to give an author talk at the Ocean County Library! It will take place on Tuesday, 28 January at 7 pm. More details to follow (as they come, and as I sort out what I’m going to blab about for an hour…)

Anyway! Innocuous (word of the YEAR) blog post all sorted out. IT’S FRIDAY! Time to Bao myself up!

Haunting of Bao

Happy October!

I’ve long thought the woods around me have been haunted, especially in the autumn months. You can feel a kind of cloying darkness in the night air, and sometimes even the moon (normally my ally) looks at you suspiciously.

I’m house-sitting at the moment, normally a source of great joy for me because I enjoy the alone time, but of course, the spirits, as always, appear to have it out for me. Around 23:00 last night, the security system goes off, a terrifying noise (especially when one is tucked into bed and trying to sleep!), and I was at a complete loss of what to do.

Was someone in the house? Was I about to be murdered? I’m one of those Americans who doesn’t have a gun, so in true coward fashion, I locked myself in my room and waited for the police to come. I contemplated using my MacBook Pro as a bludgeoning device but considered it was probably worth more than my body.

There were no attempts at forced entry as far as anyone could tell, so the police wrote it off as a ‘glitch in the system.’ Very comforting. I did what any crazy young man with an overactive imagination would do: I sat awake in bed with a vodka on the rocks, popped a Xanax, and watched My Little Pony for two hours while clutching an eight-inch chef’s knife.

Don’t expect much productivity from me today!

The Great Cheese Experiment

The other night, Tony and I were talking about a recent study conducted by the British Cheese Board (isn’t it wonderful that such a thing exists!?). The study (here) suggests that consumption of 20 grams of certain types of cheese will affect how one sleeps and/or dreams.

A great surprise then arrived yesterday in the form of fresh cheese, straight from England (thanks, Tony). Apparently, eating Cheshire 30 minutes before I fall asleep should result in a dreamless night of rest; the Red Leicester will have me reliving the days of my youth. The experiment begins tonight!