Random – Page 2 – Brian Fence

Toes

I doubt my mother would like this post, but I am remiss without it.

Mom had a bypass; vascular surgery to be exact, and the prognosis is that she’s going to lose some toes. That’s horrible. My mother is the champion of Christmas, and being hospitalized has severely lessened her ability to be the magic Santa she always is (spoilers kids: Santa is my mom).

I worry about my family; my mother’s desire (above getting out of the hospital) is to make a perfect Christmas. It won’t be. There will be lost toes. There will crutches. There will be siblings who despite the season will call my dad to check up on him (and he’s not doing so swell, as well), but don’t check in with my mother. This saddens me greatly, especially in what is supposed to be a time of love and joy.

I have Nana’s ceramic tree up. I have Pop-Pop’s gimpy, wind-up dog. What does everyone have this season? I just want my Santa back in the shop.

Riot Blade Thanksgiving

Happy early Thanksgiving! I hope everyone has something to be thankful for tomorrow.

I’m feeling grateful for many things, especially the love of my friends and husband. I’m also thankful that Terra is close to mastering her Ifrit summoning board. RIOT BLADE!!

As random as that is, I wanted to give a general update: my mother is ill and hospitalized, so I haven’t had has much leisure to write as I’d like. I hope this Thanksgiving anyone who actually reads this blogs sends her warm thoughts of healing. 🙂

I’ll talk to you all after the holiday with updates on The Janet Project.

xoxo

To the Moon and Back

No one talks about mental health, about how depression and anxiety can cripple your day-to-day life. I’ve never been shy about hiding my struggle with the aforementioned; I struggle every day. I eat pills like Tic-Tacs just to get by. What am I blocking? Thoughts of failure, misery in the workplace, worries about my family, and the endless grind that we all seem forced to endure.

But that being said, I have an amazing group of friends who would fly across the planet just to give me a hug. I can’t express how grateful I am for them, because even a casual text saying, “I’m thinking about you,” or, “You’re a numpty!” — it’s all love. I embrace that.

I recently started on a new treatment for medicine-resistant depression: Special K. Typically a party drug, this form (Sprovato) has a molecule removed and, according to my doc and my own personal experience, helps lower my anxiety and keep me focused on things I love, like gaming, ponies, and cookery. My husband has been my biggest supporter as I go through the treatment, because:

I GO TO THE MOON AND HE GETS TO WATCH.

Chris: “How are you feeling?”
Brian: “You’re in a honeypot.”
Chris: “What?”
Brian: “Weeeee.”

My appreciation not only goes out to him and my doc, but to all my friends who understand what depression and anxiety can feel like, and to all my friends who have the pleasure (?) of getting ketamine-induced texts from the stars.

I love you all to the Moon and back.

Smad’s World!

My good friend Smad has just started his blog about gaming and his experiences being both a DM and a player. I’ve sortied a number of times with him (and he was courteous enough to play Tails of Equestria with me; yay Plant Shaper). He’s the best!

If you want good reviews, definitely check out his site. You can also read a synopsis of our recent session, House of Danger.

Check him out!

An October Update

Howdy. Is everyone ready for Halloween? I’ve been obsessed with Dissidia: Final Fantasy Opera Omnia (see the pic of me as Aerith!) for the month, so things have slowed down a little.

We had a blast at our Halloween party:

I was Deadpool, and we had friends from all over come to join in the festivities. (I didn’t kill anyone with my katanas, much to my husband’s chagrin.)

Work continues on The Janet Project, and I’m looking for an agent. I’m also pleased to say that our local Keyport library will be hosting my first two novels, Librarian and Apprentice, so if you’re local… well, check it out! Literally. Ha ha. That pun works on so many levels.

xoxo

Dancing Makes Heroes

It’s been several years now since I started taking dance lessons at Fred Astaire Manasquan, doing both ballroom and Latin. I never thought I had the personality or the courage to stand up in front of others and shake my booty (PS: my favorite dances are the foxtrot, Viennese waltz, and the paso doblé; Dana, don’t make me swing!).

Yet I found myself performing showcase pieces at holidays like Christmas (I was dressed in a onesie and looked like Elf on the Shelf) or competing in in-house competitions (horrifyingly scary). My teacher, mentor, and [sometimes] shrink Dana has taught me so much about myself I cannot recommend more highly the benefits that dance gives you. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally — it’s a powerful craft that really brings the best out in a person.

It informs the heroes in my writing; it informs me as a person.

My husband and I had our first lesson in about three months (2019 has been hectic, and we haven’t had time to go) last night, and it was lovely to foxtrot with him, even if he stepped on my feet during the twinkle-to-grapevine. (Yes, that’s a wonderfully fruity move.) Partnership is a wonderful thing, and even if it’s just you and your instructor, you’ll form a bond that lasts a lifetime. I’m fortunate enough to dance with Chris — stumbles and all on both sides! — but seeing what dance does for everyone in our dance family is wonderfully uplifting and I always leave with a smile on my face.

Soooo… dance, team! Dancing makes heroes of us all.

[P] is for Protagonist, Help!

An update long time coming! The talented Anisha Dadia is finishing up the audiobook of Apprentice, so we should see that available for purchase in the upcoming weeks! HUZZAH. Hours of eloquently narrated text perfect for the car or sessions at the gym as you get your workout on.

On another note, work on my next project, The Janet Project, (no pun intended), has begun! Everything is outlined and ready to roll, but I’m having trouble with the name of the protagonist… it needs to begin with a “J,” but nothing is speaking out to me. It can’t be “Jacob” (those in the know, know why). Ideas?

People with the perfect J-name will get a special mention in the acknowledgments section of the novel. 🙂 Email me or leave a comment! THE BEST J-NAME WINS.

PS: our families are finally happy; we did the big wedding thing! I might have pictures to follow.

Double PS: I will soon be collecting more Masters, and if you haven’t checked out The Literary Review, you should!

Venus Wink Chain Sword!

Husband and I decided to celebrate a love for Sailor Moon and got some tattoos that’ll line up when we hold hands! AWWWWW! Isn’t that cloying?

He got Sailor Pluto’s “Dead Scream”…

…and I got a rendition of Sailor Venus’ attack, “Venus Wink Chain Sword” from the new version of the anime, Sailor Moon Crystal.

Those shots are as the tattoos were in-progress! The end results are FAB-U-LOUS.

…meanwhile, as I type this, husband is in the background shouting, “AREN’T YOU HAPPY? DON’T YOU LOVE HUSBAND FOR STAINING HIS SKIN FOREVER TO HAVE A STRONGER BOND WITH YOU?”

…this is our home and how we speak.

PS! I submitted some poetry from my chapbook, so *fingers crossed.*

Zombified Flash

It crept upon me, its icy-cold touch a vice on my soul. Light, it said. Give me light, it craved.

The creature’s desire was too strong, and its psychic hold tightening around my heart compelled me. I shall give it light, I thought.

But then I fought back. I cast Fireball. I was a goddamned wizard, after all. Even if the Fireball was more of a potion than a spell.

That evocation only spurred on the creature’s anger, so I brought forward the power of light, whispering the arcane words that summoned it from the ether as I twisted my fingers in sublimation.

And I fell, slipping from cool granite and into oblivion.

Okay, okay… 🙂

Cliché experiment done!

I attempted to change a lightbulb the other day by climbing atop the bathroom sink, slipped, and nearly killed myself, which would be extremely inconvenient for anyone waiting to see Freewoman’s completion.

A few shots of Fireball may have helped this. At least there wasn’t a concussion, just… ZOMBIE FOOT!

A Day in the Life

Our Oscars party went smooth as lube, but we were severely disheartened to watch La La Land not win. 🙁 Poop.

Anyway, it took some guts but three poems submitted — three poems of the more raw, emotional sort (and by that, I don’t mean an emo 18-year-old in a basement; just tough stuff). Huzzah!

We took the day off to clean up after our revelries last night and did a bang up job of the cleaning part. Now? Working. Notice the image.

More news to come soon. <3