Category: Random

Have a Happy Helen Christmas

It’s this time of year that we truly think of our loved ones. As we decorate, I remember back to the days when my grandmother was alive; cooky, faux-fur coat, fake earrings; her Scotch, and her cigarettes.

Nana Hayes
“She lived in her liquor, and died with a flicker.”

I still relive some of her traditions, and it’s having pieces of her that really enlivens my holiday. It’s not just that: even though she passed when I was fourteen, to this day she still informs my writing and my life. This post is to celebrate her.

The scariest Santa ever.

Nana’s ceramic Santa and Mrs. Claus.

I hope everyone has something special from a loved one to put out this year. Be it my great-grandmother’s ugly Christmas tree ornaments to the newest, sparkly bulbs, make a new tradition to celebrate the season.

Happy holidays, everyone.

xoxo

PS — to all those sending well wishes, thank you! I embrace them all and am truly humbled.

Seven Years a Brony

Facebook has the lovely “remember this?” memory function that most of the time fills me with unabashed shame or a surfeit of giggles. Needless to say, I seldom share.

Today marked the seven year mark of my first pony picture of my OC (original character), Wine Quill. I would, once again, be remiss if I didn’t share him with the world:

Wine Quill
Wine Quill, Brian’s OC

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic has had a remarkable impact on my life; on what I feel about friendship, love, and how I could cope with depression. I still carry ponies on my person, and am proud to have a husband who became a Brony as well. The series may have just ended, but it lives on in our hearts. *sappy music plays*

Wine Quill & Pumpkin
Wine Quill celebrates Halloween.

As as a PS, I once made a custom pony for my friend Dan. He may have lost the pic, but I have not!!

And a Big Bowl of Ravioli

We’re here listening to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Christmas (thanks, Uncle Scott!). Pinkie Pie’s “Twelve Days of Christmas” is especially epic.

Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive these past few, hectic weeks! Mom seems on the mend, so fingers-crossed, all will be well.

Hopefully we’ll get to game some Tails of Equestria this week, and maybe squeeze in a dance lesson or four. I miss my Dana. <3

As I’m now a public figure of sorts, my heart is open to the world. I’m glad that there are those who read this blog — I’m working hard to produce good work and am so thankful for all my supporters out there. Love you and happy holidays. xoxo

 

Toes

I doubt my mother would like this post, but I am remiss without it.

Mom had a bypass; vascular surgery to be exact, and the prognosis is that she’s going to lose some toes. That’s horrible. My mother is the champion of Christmas, and being hospitalized has severely lessened her ability to be the magic Santa she always is (spoilers kids: Santa is my mom).

I worry about my family; my mother’s desire (above getting out of the hospital) is to make a perfect Christmas. It won’t be. There will be lost toes. There will crutches. There will be siblings who despite the season will call my dad to check up on him (and he’s not doing so swell, as well), but don’t check in with my mother. This saddens me greatly, especially in what is supposed to be a time of love and joy.

I have Nana’s ceramic tree up. I have Pop-Pop’s gimpy, wind-up dog. What does everyone have this season? I just want my Santa back in the shop.

Riot Blade Thanksgiving

Happy early Thanksgiving! I hope everyone has something to be thankful for tomorrow.

I’m feeling grateful for many things, especially the love of my friends and husband. I’m also thankful that Terra is close to mastering her Ifrit summoning board. RIOT BLADE!!

As random as that is, I wanted to give a general update: my mother is ill and hospitalized, so I haven’t had has much leisure to write as I’d like. I hope this Thanksgiving anyone who actually reads this blogs sends her warm thoughts of healing. 🙂

I’ll talk to you all after the holiday with updates on The Janet Project.

xoxo

To the Moon and Back

No one talks about mental health, about how depression and anxiety can cripple your day-to-day life. I’ve never been shy about hiding my struggle with the aforementioned; I struggle every day. I eat pills like Tic-Tacs just to get by. What am I blocking? Thoughts of failure, misery in the workplace, worries about my family, and the endless grind that we all seem forced to endure.

But that being said, I have an amazing group of friends who would fly across the planet just to give me a hug. I can’t express how grateful I am for them, because even a casual text saying, “I’m thinking about you,” or, “You’re a numpty!” — it’s all love. I embrace that.

I recently started on a new treatment for medicine-resistant depression: Special K. Typically a party drug, this form (Sprovato) has a molecule removed and, according to my doc and my own personal experience, helps lower my anxiety and keep me focused on things I love, like gaming, ponies, and cookery. My husband has been my biggest supporter as I go through the treatment, because:

I GO TO THE MOON AND HE GETS TO WATCH.

Chris: “How are you feeling?”
Brian: “You’re in a honeypot.”
Chris: “What?”
Brian: “Weeeee.”

My appreciation not only goes out to him and my doc, but to all my friends who understand what depression and anxiety can feel like, and to all my friends who have the pleasure (?) of getting ketamine-induced texts from the stars.

I love you all to the Moon and back.

<3

An October Update

Howdy. Is everyone ready for Halloween? I’ve been obsessed with Dissidia: Final Fantasy Opera Omnia (see the pic of me as Aerith!) for the month, so things have slowed down a little.

We had a blast at our Halloween party:

I am Deadpool!
Deadpool!!

I was Deadpool, and we had friends from all over come to join in the festivities. (I didn’t kill anyone with my katanas, much to my husband’s chagrin.)

Work continues on The Janet Project, and I’m looking for an agent. I’m also pleased to say that our local Keyport library will be hosting my first two novels, Librarian and Apprentice, so if you’re local… well, check it out! Literally. Ha ha. That pun works on so many levels.

xoxo

Dancing Makes Heroes

It’s been several years now since I started taking dance lessons at Fred Astaire Manasquan, doing both ballroom and Latin. I never thought I had the personality or the courage to stand up in front of others and shake my booty (PS: my favorite dances are the foxtrot, Viennese waltz, and the paso doblé; Dana, don’t make me swing!).

Yet I found myself performing showcase pieces at holidays like Christmas (I was dressed in a onesie and looked like Elf on the Shelf) or competing in in-house competitions (horrifyingly scary). My teacher, mentor, and [sometimes] shrink Dana has taught me so much about myself I cannot recommend more highly the benefits that dance gives you. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally — it’s a powerful craft that really brings the best out in a person.

It informs the heroes in my writing; it informs me as a person.

My husband and I had our first lesson in about three months (2019 has been hectic, and we haven’t had time to go) last night, and it was lovely to foxtrot with him, even if he stepped on my feet during the twinkle-to-grapevine. (Yes, that’s a wonderfully fruity move.) Partnership is a wonderful thing, and even if it’s just you and your instructor, you’ll form a bond that lasts a lifetime. I’m fortunate enough to dance with Chris — stumbles and all on both sides! — but seeing what dance does for everyone in our dance family is wonderfully uplifting and I always leave with a smile on my face.

Soooo… dance, team! Dancing makes heroes of us all.

[P] is for Protagonist, Help!

An update long time coming! The talented Anisha Dadia is finishing up the audiobook of Apprentice, so we should see that available for purchase in the upcoming weeks! HUZZAH. Hours of eloquently narrated text perfect for the car or sessions at the gym as you get your workout on.

On another note, work on my next project, The Janet Project, (no pun intended), has begun! Everything is outlined and ready to roll, but I’m having trouble with the name of the protagonist… it needs to begin with a “J,” but nothing is speaking out to me. It can’t be “Jacob” (those in the know, know why). Ideas?

People with the perfect J-name will get a special mention in the acknowledgments section of the novel. 🙂 Email me or leave a comment! THE BEST J-NAME WINS.

PS: our families are finally happy; we did the big wedding thing! I might have pictures to follow.

Double PS: I will soon be collecting more Masters, and if you haven’t checked out The Literary Review, you should!