Brian – Page 10 – Brian Fence

Thymey Whymey

Thyme and Board No, I’m not cutting up some illegal herb; it’s THYME! Get the post’s title now? Hee-hee, Brian’s puns are bad.

Life has been pretty mundane lately, and that’s a reason to make every event a little more special. Tonight I cooked herb-marinated pork tenderloins, roasted right in the pan; I accompanied them with couscous and shallots, Vichy carrots, and a green salad with a Dijon vinaigrette. Simple, rustic French cookery. Om-nom-nom.

Excitingly, I get to pop over to the library tomorrow to speak with the senior librarian about Librarian, and it just-so-happens that the main branch is across the street from one of my favorite local watering holes. There’s a connection her: MOAR WORK ON APPRENTICE (I’ve made no secret that I work best from pubs)!

I really need to push out the next couple chapters, and errrg, tonight was one of those nights in the shower when I was like, “Damn, I think this might need to be longer than a trilogy…” — no, Brian! NO! Squash that thought right now!

…

THE FINAL TEN!

Emptying out excess inventory and to once again promote Librarian before its sequel hits the shelves next year, I’ve started a Goodreads Giveaway for the final ten hardcover copies I have in my personal possession.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Librarian

by Brian Fence

Giveaway ends November 25, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

They’ve be signed and mailed out as soon as the contest ends, November 25th, so enter to win! After all, it’s free! If you happen to be a lucky winner, please leave a review. 😀

Happy (chilly) Monday!

Happy Movember!

That’s right, kids, today is the first day of Movember, when Mo-Bros team up to grow a beautiful mustache for the month! Just like other fundraising efforts, you can show your support by donating to a Mo-Bro and help raise awareness and fund research for men’s health issues like testicular and prostate cancer.

You can visit my mo-bro page at mobro.co/brianfence!

As an added incentive, anyone who donates more than $50 USD will receive a signed copy of my book, Librarian.

My Drink of the Day…

Magnesium Citrate

…is pasteurized sparkling saline laxative! Huzzah for magnesium citrate! I get to quaff this entire bottle at 16:00 EDT today in prep for the wonderful exploration of my innards tomorrow. Don’t worry; I have another one tomorrow morning as well, in addition to some pills. WEE! Or the opposite thereof.

At least my gastroenterologist has promised not to write bad things on my bum. Since he has me on a clear liquid diet until 15:00-ish tomorrow, I’m wondering if I should mix the cherry-flavored fizzy citrate with vodka and make a fancy cocktail called “Brian’s Royal Flush.”

Okay, enough with the digestive humor. Getting ready to release the dramatic conclusion (ooooh…) to “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt,” and unlike previous installments this one will be released on Halloween (Thursday), which is only a few days. Get excited, and worry not: the growling you hear is not a monster; it’s my stomach. *whimper*

FLUTTERBRI

As I type this update, I am currently wearing a pair of pegasus wings and My Little Pony ears. Yes, I’m pretending to be Fluttershy. I have a shirt and a long pink tail to pin to my bum, but I’m saving that for Halloween.

Flutterbri

Part four of “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” has been released, leading up to its conclusion next week on the 31st. Spoooooooky! Be sure to check it out and give it a share. 🙂 Word of mouth is how I roll, kiddos, so, uh… roll with me and tell your friends!

Speaking of sharing, my friend Chris has started a freelance typography business, and having sampled his work, he knows his stuff! Be sure to check it out at palermo-stone.com.

Wuts Video Game?

BUSY WEEK! Housesitting, housekeeping, working, writing… I haven’t even played any video games! Ah! At least it’s Friday, and I did manage to get the third part of my October serial, “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt” up. (Check it out here, or start from scratch at part one.)

Other than that, pretty much no work has been done on Apprentice this week because I’ve been running all over the place, or oddly enough, sleeping. This weekend I’m devoting to relaxation and good wine and, hopefully, loads more sleep.

On the news front, I’ve been invited to give an author talk at the Ocean County Library! It will take place on Tuesday, 28 January at 7 pm. More details to follow (as they come, and as I sort out what I’m going to blab about for an hour…)

Anyway! Innocuous (word of the YEAR) blog post all sorted out. IT’S FRIDAY! Time to Bao myself up!

Haunting of Bao

Happy October!

I’ve long thought the woods around me have been haunted, especially in the autumn months. You can feel a kind of cloying darkness in the night air, and sometimes even the moon (normally my ally) looks at you suspiciously.

I’m house-sitting at the moment, normally a source of great joy for me because I enjoy the alone time, but of course, the spirits, as always, appear to have it out for me. Around 23:00 last night, the security system goes off, a terrifying noise (especially when one is tucked into bed and trying to sleep!), and I was at a complete loss of what to do.

Was someone in the house? Was I about to be murdered? I’m one of those Americans who doesn’t have a gun, so in true coward fashion, I locked myself in my room and waited for the police to come. I contemplated using my MacBook Pro as a bludgeoning device but considered it was probably worth more than my body.

There were no attempts at forced entry as far as anyone could tell, so the police wrote it off as a ‘glitch in the system.’ Very comforting. I did what any crazy young man with an overactive imagination would do: I sat awake in bed with a vodka on the rocks, popped a Xanax, and watched My Little Pony for two hours while clutching an eight-inch chef’s knife.

Don’t expect much productivity from me today!

The Great Cheese Experiment

The other night, Tony and I were talking about a recent study conducted by the British Cheese Board (isn’t it wonderful that such a thing exists!?). The study (here) suggests that consumption of 20 grams of certain types of cheese will affect how one sleeps and/or dreams.

A great surprise then arrived yesterday in the form of fresh cheese, straight from England (thanks, Tony). Apparently, eating Cheshire 30 minutes before I fall asleep should result in a dreamless night of rest; the Red Leicester will have me reliving the days of my youth. The experiment begins tonight!

Eat Your October Serial!

That’s right, serial, not cereal. I’m pun-tastic this week, and you all love it.

We’ve had beautiful fall weather up until today; now, it’s hot and humid again, and it makes me want to throw a chair or a small goat out a window. Work on the book is still coming along (don’t worry; I got two thousand words in yesterday), but as October is my favorite month, and I love Halloween, I find myself mostly willing the leaves to fall and the weather to cool down.

A fellow author on Twitter, Joe Hart, is doing a bit of flash-fiction on his blog every day up until the 31st. As his is the genre of horror, he’s quite good at producing some really scary bits of prose. While I’m not nearly collected enough to work on the book AND produce something else every day, I’ve decided to do a serial, instead.

Each week leading up to Halloween, an installment of my upcoming short story, “The Eighth Bible of New Egypt,” will be posted. It’s hopefully a little bit of a departure from my other work (though perceptive people might make some connections) in that I’m going for a cliched, old-fashioned adventure themed around some death.

Sounds fun, right? In any case, the first installment is going live tomorrow, and I will no doubt spam the link everywhere, so come back and check it out!

2k and Some Unbitching

Neither rain nor sleet nor the bloody mucous of Consumption will stop a determined writer. Okay, I don’t have TB, but I sure feel like death served bleu on a nice white plate. Hack hack hack.

Still, I won’t be kept from writing! I stayed home today, but rather than wallow in bed and waste time with video games, I managed to hit my daily goal of 2000 words, meaning chapter twelve is almost done. It’s a really interesting chapter for me, because some weird stuff goes down in ten and eleven, and twelve involves cleaning up the aftermath. Basically, I’m making Lenna less of an insufferable bitch.

This is not for the readers’ benefits so much as mine. It was either give her a good shake up, or kill her. Really. Actually, I’m happy she has a moment to start dealing with her issues like an adult (now if only I could rewrite certain family members as easily, life would be even grander).

The drugs to stop me from coughing up my lungs may have encouraged this playful pastiche to Twilight (oooh, yay for big words!), but I couldn’t help but have a little bit of fun in a relatively serious chapter. (Don’t worry; this snippet isn’t in the actual book, and those who don’t get the joke… well, nevermind.)